July 18th, 2006
我需要輕鬆一點
忘我的工作過後，感謝好友的肺腑之言，我深深體會，原來我最需要的，
就是要輕鬆一點。
我總是在提醒自己，不能把自己糟糕的一面暴露在其他人面前。太概是因為初中時被人排斥過。從那時開始，我就刻意想改造自己成為更好的自己，不會在人前發惡，逼迫自己一定要勤奮上進，要做個好人，要成為一個很好的人。總之要很好很好，要不然是不會有朋友的。
事實上，這樣的刻意做就了一個不懂得放輕鬆的自己。漸漸地，我對事的嚴肅態度給予周遭的人很多壓力，凡事太過認真，該放鬆時也不放鬆，造就了我說的不少掃興說話。太過保護自己，刻意想做得完美，物極必反，這種刻意就成為了別人不易接近我的原因。
感謝rika和Lam，謝謝你們告訴真實的我是怎樣的。
可以的話，我想從現在開始，習慣放鬆一點。這樣的想法雖然很簡單，但對我來說，要實行並不容易。我明白人與人之間，除了靠順其自然地互相了解外，根本別無他法。但畢竟已經習慣了那種生存方式，雖然了解問題所在，但卻對改變感到了切身的恐懼。
以後的我會變成什麼樣子呢？
今天第一次嘗到趕job的滋味，聽說只算是小兒科，以後陸續有來，
還真令人期待（?）呢。
放工後到了HKUspace的畢業展，匆匆忙忙走了一個圈，有些得著。晚上跟Javin、thomas、金水、Kay、阿K、rika、Lam、企鵝吃晚飯，又上了一堂世界設計通識。我發現自己每次跟Javin吃飯，就會不其然希望Javin給自己上一堂設計通識，而每次都讓我的奸計得逞（笑）。之後，大伙兒再到Times square附近的上樓cafe聊下半場，當中我聽到很多公司的事情，全部都讓我目瞪口呆。Thomas的用心，我是明白的。
我能做的，大概只有繼續努力吧！
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