August 7th, 2006

向來緣淺

Posted in 記憶 by renatus

其實,我並沒有話想說,現在的心情,要寫的話也太沉重了。

思念不能自已,痛苦不能自理。心中有千言萬語又如何,說不說出來都是枉然,事情不會因為我的三言兩語而改變,我的心情也是。我知道這樣下去,不行。工作已有月餘,越見力不從心,不,倒不如說,力沒有,心也沒有。曾勉強自己去做,落得灰頭土臉,一來是自己本來底子就差,二來是往日的拚勁彷彿消失了,結果,做什麼都一塌糊塗,唉,真對不住給予我機會的人們。

對什麼事情都實在提不起勁。這天假期,就守在自己自己的房間裡,渡過那應該是寶貴的十多個小時假期,樓上那戶大概是在裝修吧,整天就啪勒啪勒吵個沒完,我家的爺就在客廳罵了好幾個小時,這樣也好,最少可以讓我那口嘆氣聲,也消失在這喧鬧卻又孤獨的世界裡。

為了這一點小小的不如意,我就沈溺至此,太不像話。我並沒有要自暴自棄的意思,只是痛苦不能自理,問世間又有多少人敵得過自己的內心,可以很理智地把應該要忘記的事,二話不說就能忘記得一乾二淨。為了誰說的無聊笑話,我勉強擠出了一點笑容,我明白朋友是在關心我,惜千言萬語將從何吐露,我卻毫無頭緒。對不起。

一句話,向來緣淺。直道相思了無益,你既無心我便休。在沒有方向的世界裡,流下眼淚又有什麼意義。

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7 comments

  1. Cantong says:

    而家先知道你咁好文采, 利害.

    工作方面, 我對你有信心, 你還有很多學習的時間, 唔好迫死自己先, 慢慢黎啦…

    感情方面, 旁人說甚麼也沒用. 只能說有些事情需要時間去丟淡, 也許還要痛苦一陣子, 要撐下去呀…

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